Wyatt Andrew Gill's Birthday

Well, Wednesday morning the doctors decided to take Wyatt by Csection because he was not tolerating labor very well; and since they had been trying to induce my labor for over 72 hours I wasn't surprised. Kevin was right by me the whole way to the OR and he seemed nervous but ready for Wyatt to be here. All I could think was, it's over. I was so scared I was shaking like a leaf and I don't think I got to truly appreciate becoming a mom, seemed more like a dream or even a nightmare. Kevin got to meet Wyatt first in the OR before he took his place in the NICU at St. Marys. When dad brought back a few pictures and told me our son had red hair and his weight etc all I heard was 'Our son', I will never forget that phrase. I was a mom to this beautiful little creature. Wyatt Andrew Gill was born at 1:41 am on June 19. He weighed 5lbs 15oz and 20 inches long. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I love him more then I have ever loved anything in my life... And have also never been more scared of losing something either!! His apgar scores were 1, 3, 5, and 5... He needed resuscitation at birth and when we got to see him on the way to Cardinal Glennon he seemed stable and to Kevin and I, even with my nursing background, he looked so perfect, like such a healthy baby boy. I have him a kiss on the band before he left us and a little blanket that had my scent on it so he didn't forget me since I has to stay back at the hospital. I was so out of it from the surgery, meds, and stress I passes out for a few hours and when I woke up I needed some news, I NEEDED to see my son!! The doctors did not want to let me go so soon but around 4 that afternoon they let me come to Glennon on a pass to see Wyatt and Kevin. My best friend and sister took me over and they were so excited to see him and touch.... And all I could think was how nervous I was. Like I was actually meeting someone for the first time, almost first date kinda nerves. Even thought he had been a part of me, literally, for 39 weeks I didn't feel like the head honcho or the leader 'per say' like I had been before. I felt like a visitor and didn't like it. My thoughts and attitudes changed when I got there, when I got to feel his skin, see his gorgeous toes, his cute nose, his amazing mouth... Even though all his tubes and monitors are on him, he is the sweetest thing I have ever laid eyes on. I was only allowed 4 hours out of St. Mary's, which felt like 5 minutes so when I got back to the hospital, got my meds which I included something to help me sleep so it didn't seem as long until the next time I got to see him. When I woke up the next morning (today) I gotta IV out and could shower and spend the WHOLE day at Glennon... I'm and one happy camper right now!!! I got a text message from my husband and a short face time session from my mom with a bright eyes beautiful baby, its was the best thing I had seen in my whole life!! He is looking so good today, really good color, more movement, and good vital signs. I got to kiss his tiny little head today and he smells soooo good, natural baby... No lotions or soap, just my son : ) intoxicating!!
We are now waiting on the doctors to schedule his surgery. We are not out of the woods for pulmonary hypertension (a major complication of CDH) but the doctors say that all the other things (vital signs, his behavior, etc) point in the right direction and make them believe he will do very well. We are in the waiting room now as he gets his PIC line placed. (A semi permanent IV line). For some odd reason I am the calm one about this and my family are the ones anxious about this as we sit and wait. It may be my medical background, or how well he is doing, or that 'false hope' thing but I'm ok as of right now. Sometimes I feel guilty for this or like if I'm not overly worried or anxious it will show up to hot me in my face later... Guess we just take it minute by minute.... Ride the CDH roller coaster as the veterans of this journey would say.
Sorry it took so long for the update, I will try to be better about it to keep everyone updated. Feel free to visit my FB page as well because my family has also been putting up updates and they tag so if I don't have time to make entries some may. Keep up the prayers and good thoughts, they have worked wonders this far and I cannot thank everyone of you out there enough for all of the support. We are truly blessed!!!!
Until next time...