Update... Day 3 of Wyatt's journey

Wyatt is 3 days old today... And what a day it has been! Everything was stable when I left yesterday to go back to st. Mary's and the doctor told us they were going to do a test this morning to make sure that Wyatt wasn't having any pulmonary hypertension. If this test was good, they might perform surgery Friday or Saturday. We were very happy to hear such good news, surgery meant one more hurdle down and that Wyatt must really be proving himself to the doctors to take him to the OR so soon. I woke up for my 4 o'clock pumping session and immediately my happiness turned into anxiety. I could go back to sleep, I was crying sitting in my hospital bed thinking of all the things that could happen to my precious baby boy that I had fallen head over heals in love with in a matter of seconds.
I was still unsure if I was going to be discharged from the hospital, if Wyatt was going to have surgery, I just felt unsure about everything.... I had no control over anything and if you know me that is the worst thing to have no control. The resident made her rounds and told me that she thought I would get to be discharged as long as the attending agreed. Then I get the phone call that the echo went very good, we were. It experiencing any pulmonary hypertension. I was thrilled, but then I remembered that a good echo meant surgery. The surgeon told my husband that they would schedule him in the afternoon for surgery. I had never felt such urgentness to get somewhere... I needed to see my son, touch him, tell him how much I loved him and that I knew he could handle this surgery. Thanks to the wonderful staff at St. Mary's and a few strings being pulled we were out with in the next hour and the family was notified of the surgery. I was getting a little bit of that control back, there was a plan. Then the tornado started....
My husband called back and said that the only opening on the surgery schedule was late in the evening and they would prefer to do it on Saturday morning. I was a little perturbed because of the variation in the plan but I let it go and called the family back and told the. Of the new news. We left the hospital and drove to Glennon. I got in the NICU room and felt at home. I got to stay with my baby tonight.... Sooooo happy. I was playing with Wyatt's teeny tiny toes and telling him that mommy got to stay with him all the time now when Dr. Vane walked into the room. He was ready to take Wyatt to surgery due to a cancellation on the schedule and they would be ready for this surgery with in the hour. I froze. I knew this was coming for months and thought I was prepared, but I lost it. I can honestly say I have never been more nervous to let something go ever before in my entire life! The family was still available to come and sit with us which was a relief.
They told us from the time they took him from the NICU room to the time he would be back would be roughly 3 hours. I kissed Wyatt's hand and told him he was my brave little man and would do great... And honestly at that point I did feel like my son was braver then I was. I lost it when I walked out of the room. Everyone else seemed pretty calm, on edge but ok. I felt like a ticking time clock... I was gritting my teeth and snapping at people and felt like I could cry a river if I let myself. They called us around 1:25 to tell us that they had made the first cut and Wyatt was doing well.  The next ring from the phone was at 3:15. My husband answered the phone and I could hear the nurse on the other end but couldn't make out the words. Those 25 seconds were the longest time period I had ever had to sit through. My husband was nodding, or replying to the person on the other end... I just kept saying please say something. And when he life was good!
The surgery had went very good and Wyatt had tolerated the procedure very good. They were able to repair the hernia with out and mesh patches. His spleen was nicked and he lost some blood but were able to replace it and he responded well to the treatment. My family rejoiced, hugs and praises all around. I kept it together for the celebration and then retreated to the restroom where, for the third time that day, I lost it. It felt like every emotion a human could experience was running through my body with such force I could have collapsed. I think through  my tears I thanked God about 100 times. I had never felt more blessed in my entire life!
Wyatt is still doing very good. He is resting comfortably and we are going to let him recover tonight and then the doctors will begin to ween the vent as tolerated. We have so many other hurdles to get through and sitting here next to my son I am still anxious and worried for him, but for the first time in the whole thing I feel like we are swimming, instead of treading water or even sinking which I have felt like sooooo much in the last couple months. Baby is born, mommy is recovered and with Wyatt, surgery is done (at 3 days old, shout out to the little man), and now we work on getting him breathing on his own and then we move forward (toward home) to the next set of hurdles. I sit here, next to my son in his NICU bed and stare in complete awe. My husband and I created this sweet little boy that is so innocent and dependent yet he is the most strong, brave, incredible person I have ever met!, I now know my purpose in life... To be Wyatt Gills mommy : )
Until next time.....