Had a decent day a FCI today, definitely feels like better news then the last time we were there!! This may be because I am more prepared and know a little more going in. I have so many thoughts and questions in my head and sometimes I feel like I cannot get them out. I do feel like I did get my questions out this time (poor Jenny our nurse probably felt like she was under a firing squad!), and even though some of the answers are still up in the air depending on the upcoming weekly exams I think I have a grasp on the plan moving forward. I was under the impression last appt we had we would for sure be delivering at Cardinal Glennon with some sort of surgery, CSection or EXIT procedure. After this appt, a vaginally delivery is not out of the question. This makes me happy and scared. As a previous OB RN, I kind of looked forward to labor. I know some people may think this sounds weird, but I always pictured how I would handle labor, how my experience helping other women would effect me during the process. I just hope that if we do deliver there Wyatt is safe and handles the transfer to CG well. We will know more about mode and time of delivery once we have the tests next week and then are evaluated at fetal maternal medicine at St. Mary's the following week.
The ultra sounds we are having are looking for a few different things. Obviously, growth and proper development. These both look good, and it shows that Wyatt weighs 5 pounds 2 ounces. They also do a test called BPP (biophysical profile) which is somewhat comparable to an APGAR score in the womb, Wyatt scored and 8 our 8 :) The most anticipated measurement that the ultra sound shows is the LHR (lung head ratio). I do not know how to explain this but the doctors tell us that this is an indicator of survival and how the baby will transition from me breathing for him to having to breath on his own or with the help of a ventilator. From my understanding, the MD's want this number above 1. The MD's went back through our other ultra sounds and told us last week that we have been in the 2 range through out our pregnancy (remember, we were not thinking CDH until last week but CCAM so this measurement wasn't done until last week). Last week the exact measurement was 2.7 and this week it is 2.9. Improvement, but we are still worried about that low lung volume. My MD is out of town this week, so the MD that is filling in for him is going to send him the information from this week and see if he would like to repeat the MRI next week when I come in for my ultra sound. All of these measurements will determine what kind of delivery we have and who will attend (sounds like a million people ;) ). I love to get good readings, do not get me wrong, but I keep thinking not to get my hopes up. I am probably too hard on myself, but a lot of the time I feel bad if I get too excited or too hopeful because I do not want to get let down. That might be the hardest part of all of this. I want so bad to get that innocent, excited, happy feeling about having a baby, my first baby. I almost feel cheated that I haven't got to feel that...
My husband and I took a tour of St. Mary's yesterday and my best friend came along as well because we still thought that Wyatt would be delivered at Cardinal Glennon for sure and in that case Kevin would stay with him and my best friend would come to be with me. The tour was good, but it was also a little depressing for me. I was looking at these rooms and just kept thinking that I would be wanting so bad to be back at Glennon with my baby. We were touring the L&D rooms and I knew about most of the equipment because I had used it before, and I just kept thinking about how lucky moms were to get to deliver in these rooms and have their babies with them. I had to keep reminding myself that I also was lucky... lucky to be pregnant, lucky to have my husband and family, lucky to get Wyatt, no matter what the situation was!! We are just going to keep praying that we get better news, not worse news. Keep praying that God knows best and will bless us with a precious little baby boy!
Until next time......
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